Lord of the Matrix
by Shantazzar
Summary: All us TolkienMatrix fans know that "the Matrix" was really like the 6th matrix, and there used to be a "perfect" matrix, you know what that was. Middle Earth, duh
1. Chapter 1 the first chapter

First off, I don't own LOTR, the Matrix, or anything else I might get sued for, for writing about it, or him, or her

And I'm not J.R.R. Tolkien (for those who don't know, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) and I don't write as well

Basic intro.:

If any of you out there are Matrix freaks like me, you all know that "The Matrix" is actually like the 6th matrix, AND those 6 weren't the first type of matrix... as you probably know, the truly FIRST matrix was designed to be a "Perfect" world... I think all us Tolkien fans know what the perfect world was... duh... Middle Earth (Remember how much "Elrond" looked like Agent Smith? Coincidence? I think not.)

SO... this is just some stuff bout the first, and original matrix, which was written about by a man named Tolkien, after he was un-plugged

Chapter 1 - the beginning of the end, of the first, of several, of the last of the machines years

"Frodo, wake up!" came a voice from outside Frodo's room

"Just a second Sam..." Frodo replied

Frodo was not short, for a hobbit, but he was not particularly tall, he was also one of the few hobbits that could swim.

Frodo got up, and after eating a few breakfasts, he stepped outside

"Hello Frodo!" said Pippin

"Oh, the mailman asked me to give this to you" said Pippin as he walked inside

Frodo opened up the package to find a palantir inside. As soon as it dropped out of the package into his hands, it suddenly began to ring.

"Hello?" thought Frodo, which caused the ringing to stop

suddenly a face appeared, of an elderly looking man

"Do you know who this is?" came a voice in Frodo's head, though the mans face didn't move

"Gandalf?" thought Frodo

"Yessss" came the reply

"Now, they are coming, you have to do what I say"

"Whos coming?" asked Frodo

"See for yourself"

Frodo looked up, and saw several Nazgul walking down the road

He saw the Nazgul talking to Sam, and Sam pointed to where Frodo was, Frodo then ducked down quickly

"Theres a gate in the fence next to you, go through it" came Gandalf's voice

"Ok, how do you know all this?" asked Frodo as he went through the fence

"I don't have time to explain right now" Gandalf said, "Ok, now, you need to slowly climb off that cliff over there"

"Uh, there isnt a cliff within 50 miles of here" said Frodo

"I SAID DO WHAT I TELL YOU, OR THEY WILL GET YOU!!!" shouted Gandalf

"THERES NO CLIFF!!!" shouted Frodo back

Suddenly the Nazgul approached, and picked up Frodo, and began to drag him away, as Frodo dropped the phone...

This is just the first chapter, if you cant tell, its made like the movie, even THOUGH its supposed to be the first matris, not the 6th version.... blah blah blah, still,

please R/R


	2. Chapter 2 interview

Hi. this is chapter 2, duh. thanks to all my reviewrs... I hope you will like this chapter better

I decided to stop making this just like the Matrix. and more like LOTR, but with a matrix edge... think it will be better this way

let me know what you think! And thanks to all the reviewers!!

BiggsTrek Thanks for helping me with all my stories!!!

Boxie Roxie Yes, I actually did get some of my idea from that very picture, the one with Elrond wearing the Agent Smith glasses... he he he

Tarachi Kaishaku thanks for reviewing my story, ur one of the reasons that I decided to change the format a little bit, also one of the reasons there is a chapter 2 at all

Chapter 2

"Mr Baggins, we have been watching you for a while now, it seems that you arent just a gardener" said one of the Nazgul as he sat down

"What do you mean? Im just a hobbit" said Frodo

"It seems you have been holding something... of great importance" said the Nazgul, in a long slow voice

"You mean my autographed copy of "The Hobbit"? or do you mean my limited edition Sting reproduction?" said Frodo

"No, we don't mea... WAIT, YOU HAVE AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF THE HOBBIT?" shouted the Nazgul

"Yea, I would have a copy of LOTR, but it hadnt been written yet, since I havent even destroyed the ring yet" replied Frodo

"AHA! The ring! I KNEW IT!" shouted the Nazgul

"Oh, you meant the ring?" asked Frodo

"Yes of course that's what we meant" said the Nazgul

"Oh, sure, here yya go" siad Frodo, as he handed the ring to the Nazgul

"HEY, this isnt the ring, this is..."

"What? It's the ring" replied Frodo

"No....."

"What, you never heard of the Captain Riboflavin secret decoder ring?" said Frodo, in surprise

"No, I have to admit, I havent" said the Nazgul

"YOU HAVENT?? IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET A VAP'N RIBOFLAVIN RING FOR MONTHS!!!" shouted one of the other nazgul

"Shut up Larry" said the lead Nazgul (Larry is the fifth nazgul, inside joke)

"Im talking about "THE" RING, ya know, one ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness sap all their body heat, and use them to power the machine world" said the lead nazgul

"Woah, THAT ring, oh yea, don't mess with that, every time I touch it, a big evil looking eye pops out of no-where" said Frodo

"Cool, it pops out of knowere?" said the Nazgul

"Yes, it pops out of knoughwear" said Frodo

"Hey, do you mean nowhere?" asked one of the other, more inteligent looking, nazgul

"No, I meant knowhere" said Frodo

"well, EXKUUUUUZE MEE" said the other nazgul

"So. where is the ring?" asked the nazgul

"oh that thing?" said Frodo, "I think I am using it as a coaster"

"a gold coaster?" asked the nazgul

"Well, its just plain gold, and I feel evil and invisible when I wear it" said Frodo

"We need it, if we get it, you can go" said the Nazgul

"Why cant I go right now?" asked Frodo

"Cause we don't want you to that's why" said the nazgul

Just then, several high elves dropped into the room, machine gun in each hand, both unloading like crazy, but strangely, not hitting Frodo

THEN SUDDENLY!!!

the chapter ended!


	3. Chapter 3, Elrond yes, already

Welcome to the wonderful world of... TEXT!!! aint it lovely?

disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, or the Matrix, yea...

THnX to my reviewrs, thanks for reviewing and telling me which parts needed work!

Hope this is the best chapter yet (not a ton of competition)

* * *

Chapter 3:

In just a few seconds, the high elves killed all the Nazgul

"Whew, that was close!" said Frodo, as the high elves walked in

"Yes it was" replied one of the high elves

Then suddenly, the author didn't know really what to do with the elves, so they walked off into the sunset, and burst into flames when they finally reached the surface of the sun. (just a special effect, no elves were harmed in the writing of this story)

"Woah, that looked cool"

"Yes it did" came a voice

"WHO ARE YOU?" asked Frodo

"My name is Elrond" said the man, or elf, who was apparently Elrond, "I finally found you, Frodo Anderson Baggins, or Mr. Anderson as I like to call you"

"Wait, this dosent make sense, Elrond is very important to the plot, but your also the only real connection between this, and the 6th Matrix!!! If your bad, it ruins the entire story though, but if your good, then the whole Elrond/Smith joke cant be made!!" Frodo said frantically

"Yessssss, I couldn't have done a better job of confusing everyone myself" Elrond replied

"So, what is going to happen?" asked Frodo

"Im not sure, Mr. Anderson, lets ask the Author"

Suddenly a voice came, "Elrond will have to pretend to be a good guy for one scene, then he will be a bad guy"

"AHH!" said Elrond

"AHH!" said Frodo

"Well, now Mr. Anderson, it appears that I will be a good guy, yet a good guy that is actually a bad guy pretending to be good for a while, while actually bad, but not acting bad, cause I'm pretending to be good, not bad" Elrond said, in a slow, monotonous voice

"WOW, YOUR GOOD! I nearly fell ASLEEP!" Frodo said

"Yessssss, thank you" Elrond replied slowly

"So, when is this 'good scene'?" asked Frodo

"Lets have it now!" said Elrond

"Ok, Ill just set the ring on this table"

"Ok, who will go with Frodo on this quest?" Elrond asked

"Wait, theres no one in the room." replied Frodo

"He has my semi-automatic, and automatic weaponry, as well as my supreme Kung Fu/ Ju Jitsu/ Drunken Boxing... skills" Said Gandalf (Gandalf Morpheus Stormcrow is his full name)

"And he has my not-so-apparent skills with guns, as well as my severly, SEVERLY cool looking Kung Fu... skills" Said Legolas (Legolas Trinity Greenleaf)

(Im sure we all noticed how much Legolas looked like a girl)

"And he has my... skills... that you never really see that much" said Boromir (Boromir Cypher... shoot, I don't know Boromir's last name)

"And my axe" Said Gimli (Gimili... just Gimili, I kinda ran out of Important Matrix characters)

"And you have my cool ability to use lots and lots of weapons that are almost too big for a normal person to use just one of, yet I can use em simultaneously, PLUS my ability to only be killed by silver bullets" said Aragorn (Aragorn that-guy-in-the-second-movie-that-can-only-get-killed-by-silver-bullets Dunedain)

"WERE COMING TOO!" said several Hobbits that haven't really been in this story so far (sorry!)

"WOOT!" Said Frodo

Just then, a man, who looked a lot like Keanu Reeves walked up

"Excuse me, is this Newark?" asked the man

"No... wait, are you Neo?" asked Frodo

"No, my name is Johnny Mnemonic" said Johnny (I really hope I spelled Mnemonic right)

"Really? you look just like Neo" said Frodo

"No, but I do have a plug in the back of my head, and it hooks up to computers" said Johnny

"REALLY NOW? What are the chances that someone that looks like you would be 2 different people with plugs in the back of their heads?" said Frodo, "Four, if you include the Matix sequels!"

"I KNOW!" replied Johnny

Then the Authors voice came in, "Sorry, I just had to make fun of the fact that Keanu Reeves played two people with plugs in their heads"

"Its ok" replied Gandalf

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU!!!!" came a slightly angrier voice, apparently from the Author

"Well, Ive been good now, so, Ill leave for a while, and come back, trying to kill you ok?" said Elrond

"OK!" replied everyone, including Elrond

"Ok, this is the end of the chapter, I hope you liked it, please R/R" said the Author

"Hey dude, your not supposed to say that, your just supposed to type it" said Frodo

"Oh, SHOOT!!" said the Author, "I said that out loud?"

"Yea, you kinda did" said Frodo

"OK, Let me try again"

Ok, this is the end of the chapter, I hope you liked it

"you forgot the R/R part, you had it up th..." Said Frodo, just before he was attacked by flying bionic shark, with lazer beams attached to their heads

(Come on, I'm the author, I can add all the flying sharks I want)

oh right, the R/R thing too


	4. Chapter 4, Randomizing, and updates

**Disclaimer**: This is not a part of of a balanced breakfast

**Disclaimer:** I don't own LOTR, the Matrix (any of em) or various other things I could be said to have claimed to own

ALSO... for my chapterly rantings... that you read, cause... well you are right now, I can tell cause you wouldn't know that I knew if I wasn't right about knowing what you were reading.

ok, I cant think of anything to rant about... a few things though, about the story

concerning Legolas: So far, he is still a guy... I don't have plans to make him a girl (shudder) I was just saying he was the MOST like Trinity. Fortunately for me, I am a guy, and I'm not in love with Orlando Bloom, so I can make fun of him... but sorry to all the people I offend (girls I offend I mean, same thing)

concerning Aragorn: All the cool people were taken by the time I realized I had left him out (please don't hurt me, I'm SORRY!) SO I decided to make him one of those "glitchy" guys that were "from a previous version of the matrix" specifically, the guys that can only be killed by silver bullets, (the "werewolf" guys... like there were some "ghost" guys)

AND... to my wonderfull reviewers...

WOULD IT KILL YOU to say SOMETHING LIKE... ok ok, your all great reviewers

I would name names, but my comp has been attacking me and my attempts to do stuff, and Im afraid if I dont post this soon, I never will, and my computer will delete it, and bit slap me tor trying to upload it, or worse, kilobyte slap me! (lame computer joke, and my comp attacked me AGAIN...)

* * *

Chapter 4

"Uh oh, this dosent look good" said the Author, as he faced 1,000 orcs, lead by the nine Nazgul, and Sauron himself as well.

"WE WILL SMITE YOU... BADLY!" shouted Sauron, raising his mace

at that time, the Author grabbed the mace from Sauron's hand, and smacked him over the head, then heroically defeated every last orc, and Nazgul, saving the world from tyranny.

"YAY!" said the Author

The he suddenly remembered what he was supposed to be doing!

"Were off to see the wizard!..." said Frodo, as he walked along

"Wrong movie" said Gandalf quickly

"Oh..."

"Were off to see the darklordsauron! the wonderfull darklordsauron of Morodor!" said Frodo

"That's better, but we're not going to see HIM... were going to destroy his ring!" said Gandalf

"Ohhhh RIGHT!" said Frodo

"Yea, anyways" Aragorn said

"WAS THAT A THREAT?" shouted Frodo

"WHAT?" asked Aragorn, a little surprised by Frodo's reaction

"OH, SO NOW YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW HOW TO USE THE 5 W's?????" shouted Frodo again

"Woah, dude, calm down" said Aragorn

"I DON'T NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!" shouted Frodo

"DUDE, CALM DOWN!!!" shouted Aragorn

"come on, you don't have to shout" Frodo replied calmly

"Whatever"

"I WILL THANK YOU!!!... IM GOING TO WHAT MY EVER TONIGHT!!!" shouted Frodo

Aragorn thought a second, "OK!!!" he shouted

"Well, good" Frodo said, calm once again

"SO, HOW ABOUT THAT LOCAL SPORTS TEAM!!!" shouted Aragorn

Once again, Frodo replied calmly to Aragorn's shouting, as opposed to shouting at Aragorn's calmness, "Yea, I heard that he/she did good/bad!"

Just then, Gollum walked across the path they were walking down, then one second later, he walked across it again.

"What was that?" asked Frodo

"Update" said Gandalf, "OOO, version 1.31!!"

"HEY, they finally added my idea!" said Aragorn

"What was that?" asked Legolas (the guy)

"Instant Messaging!" Aragorn said cheerfully

Just then!

**Lucid03days:** Hola!

"Oh great, not her" said Aragorn

"Who is she?" asked Gandalf

**Lucid03days:** What do you mean? "OH GREAT"? YOUR MEAN!

"I meant that in a NICE way" replied Aragorn

**Lucid03days:** Lol, no you didn't

"Whatever" Aragorn replied

**Lucid03days:** Oh great, I have to go, BYE!

"Yea..." Aragorn replied

_Lucid03days has logged out_

This chapter has logged out

**AuthorExtrordinaireShantazzar:** Please R/R... YEA!!!

Oh, I don't own Lucid03days either... I meant to put "**Disclaimer**:" before that, but Ill just have to put it after, and write it backwards so the colon is towards the claim :**remialcsiD**


End file.
